Wake You Up When September Ends? Okay.

Ah, September. You went by so fast. How can it be the end of you already? We're still debating whether or not it's okay to wear white and now you want us to start thinking about Halloween costumes? Sigh.

In honor of the end of September and a certain song by Green Day that has been stuck in our heads all day, we present images of My Damn Channel stars sleeping so that we can tell them to "WAKE UP!" just like the song asks us to.

Wake up, Daily Grace! It's the end of September!


Wake up, Kristen Schaal! It's the end of September!


Wake up, Gigi! It's the end of September!

So we hope you're awake now."Waking you up when September ends" was kind of a weird request, right? Pretty arbitrary. We mean, if you're going to hibernate, why not just wake up in March? Whatever. We're your friends so we'll play alarm clock for you but just this once. Unless you pay us or something. Then we'd probably do it more.

---

Put A Tony Danza On It

After watching Mark Malkoff's "Free Cab Rides" video, we were particularly struck by the part where Mark and his driver Sean decide to "Tony Danza" the cab.

Brilliant.

An ode to Tony Danza's turn in TAXI, sure, but why not an ode to Tony Danza in general? We're ashamed to admit that we think about Who's The Boss? on almost a daily basis. Like, who WAS the boss? That question has boggled us since we were seven. So, we thought, let's Tony Danza some sh*t.

(Jeff Bezos "Put A Tony Danza" on the Kindle Fire!)


(Wanna make How To Make It In America a better show?
"Put A Tony Danza On It!")

Here, maybe you wanna "Put A Tony Danza On It" yourself?

Go for it! You know how on Portlandia they "Put A Bird On It?" Well, maybe the rest of us should "Put A Tony Danza On It." Maybe you want to help a new generation embrace a beloved 80's sitcom star due to an obscure but indefatigable movement to put his likeness in unexpected places!

Or, you know, maybe you're just bored and you don't suck at Photoshop. Either of those reasons could lead to a perfectly acceptable decision to "Put A Tony Danza On It." Just be sure to let us know if you do.

---

Mark Malkoff's "Free Cab Rides"

Taxi Driver. Taxi. Cash Cab. That movie With Jimmy Fallon, Queen Latifah and Gisele Bundchen that no one will ever admit to seeing.

There's something glamorous and romantic about taxis, right? Who doesn't wish they could jump into one and say "Follow that car!" Or "Step on it!" Or "Don't you dare try to take me down the FDR during rush hour!"

A few weeks ago Mark Malkoff tried to make some taxi riders' dreams come true, so long as their taxi-riding dream wasn't more complicated than getting from one place to another:

<

Highlights include when Mark and his driver "Tony Danza" the cab:

And Mark's costume changes:

Make sure you follow Mark on Twitter and Facebook so that the next time he's looking for someone to be in a video, it might be you. You might even get a free meal out of it, so long as you don't mind sitting in your food:

---

Happy Birthday, Grace!

(This was the first image that came up in a search for "Happy Birthday Grace." We're just going with it.)

It's Grace's birthday! And you know what that means:

PARTY!!!

We couldn't decide what kind of party she'd like best, so we threw a bunch of 'em.

Here's Grace at Chuck E. Cheese:

And here's Grace having a bowling party:

And here's Grace having a pool party:

And here's Grace at a pizza party:

But here's an exclusive pic from the super secret ultra VIP birthday bash we threw for her last night with Lil Wayne and Avril Lavigne, who also celebrate their birthdays on September 27th:

Doesn't it feel just like you were right there with us and Daily Grace and TMZ? Make sure you thank Daily Grace today for hazing and faghetti'wiches and Sexy Fridays and 'chuting and Near/Far and for letting us hang out with her for a few minutes each day.

Happy Birthday, Grace! Let's raise a glass of Baileys to you! (As long as we are of legal drinking age and even if we are of legal drinking age we are taking care to drink responsibly as we enjoy this wonderful adult beverage!)

---

Yes. We Can Confirm That Jonah Hill Is Skinny

(Image via)

Jonah Hill is skinny.

Perhaps you've heard? He's in a new movie called Moneyball and he's been making the promotional rounds and we're here to tell you that the rumors are true: he's super-slimmed down.

You see, it just so happens that your humble My Damn Channel blogger went to a professional baseball game last week and saw him in person when he threw out the first pitch:

(Image via @Athletics)

It is a very different look from his Wainy Days role:

But just like we told our mom when she asked, "Is that the same guy from your Wainy Days show? Is he a good friend of yours or something? Should you go down to the field and say 'hi' to him?" We'll tell you the truth:

"Yes it's the same guy."

"No, we're not good friends."

"NO, MOM, WE'RE NOT GOING DOWN TO THE FIELD TO SAY 'HI.'"

But that last part was mostly just because security wouldn't let us.

---

How To Deal With An Inbox Fail

Did you survive the great YouTube inbox subscription notification blackout of 2011? We saw so many of you running through the streets wailing, ripping your clothes off and screaming, "Is there a new Daily Grace episode or isn't there?! WE DON'T KNOOOOOOOOOOOW!"

So, yeah, it was pretty terrible. Here is what you should have done:

1. Check our Facebook Page. We told you about the new Grace video AND we referenced a Celine Dion song! Does it get better than that?

2. Check our Twitter feed. We told you TWICE yesterday that there was a new Daily Grace video AND we figured out a way to relate International Talk Like a Pirate Day to Buffy! Does it get better than that?

3. Check our Tumblr. We let you know there was a new Daily Grace episode AND we reblogged this guy's epic Grace gifs. Does it get any better than that?

So the next time you need some subscription notification verification, just ask us. But nicely. Please. You guys freak us out sometime when you yell.

Oh, right... or you can just go here...

---

How To Be A Vlogger: Lesson Two

(Image via)

So. You've made your first vlog and told everyone that you didn't know what you were doing.

Sweet. What's next?

Well, one tactic that especially adventurous vloggers like to do is to treat the videoblogging experience like Twitter.

Like BAD Twitter.

Like the Twitter that you're afraid of finding in your timeline so you never even log on. Like the Twitter that you used to write when you didn't know what Twitter was and you thought that Facebook was just a fad and why can't we all just go back to MySpace already?!

Like this:

And-- just like last week-- this seems to work best when you don't have anything interesting or informative to share with the audience! People love being bored to death! It's crazy how that works! Those YouTube subscriptions should just start rolling in!

If you try out any of our vlogging tips, let us know how it goes-- especially if any of them work out for you, because, frankly, that's something we can only imagine. Seriously.

Come back next week when we'll discuss how to deal with the haters...

---

We Like The Sklar Brothers

(The Sklar Brothers at My Damn Channel HQ!)

We like The Sklar Brothers.

They're funny. Their podcast is reliably funny. They did a web series with us called Back On Topps, which got us as close to Yankees GM Brian Cashman as we're probably ever going to get:

And this week they put out a new album, "Hendersons & Daughters."

In fact, it's already Number One on the iTunes Comedy chart:

(You guys knocked Daniel Tosh out of the top spot! Thank goodness.)

So check it out. Buy the album. Tell them we said "Thanks for being so nice that one time you came by the office." And always make sure that you shout out loud whenever and wherever you possibly can, "HENDERSON!!!"

---

Waste Time With Us In Even More Places!

We have a foursquare page!

We debuted it in stealth mode a couple of weeks ago, but we figured it would be a good time to tell everyone about its existence today since Mark Malkoff would be checking in all over New York City.

So you should follow us on foursquare. We're making lists of places you should go, curated carefully by our staff. We're giving you tips on what to do to ensure maximum fun time. And since our staff are the ones making these lists, you might even run into one of us having a drink somewhere, or just laughing really hard at with our friends.

We'll also use the page to tell you when we're doing fun things and carrying around free My Damn Channel swag to give away to our friends.

So follow us, friend us and hang out with us. Unless that restraining order is still in effect (you know who you are).

---

How To Get a Free Cab Ride with Mark Malkoff

So you want to be in a video with an Internet Celebrity, huh?

Here's your chance:

1. Watch the video above.
2. Be in New York City (mostly around Manhattan) on Tuesday, September 13th.
3. Need a place to go.
4. Tell Mark Malkoff by Tweeting him at @mmalkoff where you are and where you would like to go.
5. Maybe you a get a Free Cab Ride!
6. Maybe you don't.
7. Try again. Keep tweeting @mmalkoff and try to get that free ride!
8. Follow Mark on foursquare to see if he's nearby! (Here's a hint: Your chances of getting picked up are better if he's already in your area!)
9. Follow My Damn Channel on foursquare since we will be checking in with Mark at some point during the day and handing out some My Damn Chanel swag to people who also check in at this location!
10. Wait patiently for the video to premiere here on September 28th and see if your ride made the cut!

If you don't get a free cab ride, hopefully you know how to buy a Metrocard...or may we suggest you invest in a Big Wheel?

---