(Intern Josh, wondering forlornly how he ended up here)
EDITOR'S NOTE: It's Josh's last day as an intern for My Damn Channel! I asked him to write up a post telling you what it was like for him this summer!
Coming into My Damn Channel as an intern I thought all I was gonna learn was how to file papers and fill out reports. Boy was I wrong! Friday will be my last day and I still haven't correctly filled out a single report. My boss is always saying that it drives him crazy how long it's taking me to get the hang of the office duties, but I can tell he's just joking. How I treasure that agonized look he gets trying so hard to hold back laughter.
What I learned though was way more valuable than any college education. I would say it was worth about $230,000, a couple hundred more than four years' tuition at Wesleyan. What I learned was the value of making the effort to gain the respect of your peers.
Before I ever set foot into that office, I had my work cut out for me. My future co-workers had already started gossiping that I only got the internship because of my family connections. After failing for three years to strike any gold, my great-great-grandfather started My Damn Channel during the California Gold Rush as a burlesque show designed to entertain entrepreneurs who had given up on trying to find gold and started companies catered to the needs of the gold miners. Grandpa Schmulie Meisel. I can't believe that was such a popular name back then — Grandpa.
My first day at work the guy sharing my cubicle got mad at me for unplugging his computer. "What do you need a blender for?!" he irrationally snarled. "How else are you gonna make computer smoothies silly? By hand?!" I chucked his computer into my oversized blender. He must've thought I was awfully spoiled, not making my computer smoothies by hand. I really had an uphill battle ahead of me if I wanted to gain anyone's respect.
A couple of days in I got the courage to pitch a show idea to the head of development. It was a parody of "Friends" called "Friends." He looked at me like I was an idiot. "You just handed me a bunch of "Friends" scripts. I think I know now why the printer's out of ink. Look, why don't you hold off for a bit before you make any more pitches." Apparently my scripts had gone right over his head. And "Friends" was a pretty accessible show. The guy I shared my cubicle was a rube, our head of development was dense as a neutron star, and my boss was an incorrigible prankster. My situation was less than ideal to say the least.
Halfway through the summer things had only gotten worse. I was miserable. My only friend was the janitor, and he was a Roomba! I'd cry myself to sleep every night, and when I wasn't feeling that sad I would get my butler to cry me to sleep. My job was a major disappointment. It wasn't at all like that show "The Office." We had TWO guys named Dwight, and the prettiest girl wasn't dating the most handsome guy (me), but instead this guy Jim who's so inexperienced with women that when I asked him to share some girlie stories he just laughed.
All I could do was trudge along until my five weeks were up, filing away papers wherever I could cram them (I may not get the job done pretty, but I'm damn fast). And just when I had given up on ever gaining a single ounce of respect from any My Damn Channel employee, a stroke of luck bolted me right in the face.
I'll always remember it like it was yesterday, even though it was only yesterday today. Jim's girlfriend (I think her name was Xamela) told him he needed to go somewhere to sign some forms. She couldn't give him a ride because she was busy. He asked if anyone else could take him, and I shot out of my chair like I was sitting on a lit match (which for the one of the first times I wasn't). Jim didn't see me at first; his eyes scanned the room for someone to drive him but everyone pretended to be hard at work because they were too lazy to take him. Finally he saw me and said "Fine let's go Josh." And fine it was. Everyone looked up at Jim and smiled at him. Their smiles seemed to say, "I'm really happy for you that you get to go on a fun/crazy/cool ride with Josh." But the smiles had a little menace behind them that signified jealousy.
When I got back my boss laughed with mirth, patted me on the back, and said, "Good job sonny." All I ever wanted was for my boss to think of me as a son, but life isn't easy. I had to put in my time to get what I wanted — let's just say I don't think I could've earned the luxury of being treated by my boss like his own flesh and blood if I hadn't given Jim that ride. And now, in these last couple of months before my summer ends and I have to go back to hitting the books trying to eventually earn my GED, I can look back at my time at My Damn Channel atop my pool float, computer smoothie in hand, and know that that one lesson I learned was well worth all my trifles. Plus it helped that I was making more than the rest of the office combined.
Thanks, Josh, er, Sonny! We will miss you! We know it will be tough going back to Stanford to get a world-class education, but it's better you than us!
We fully intend to continue stalking following you and your writing as @artsypriest and as a writer for The Stanford Chaparral.
PS: If any of you, dear readers, for some strange, maddening reason, would like to be an intern for My Damn Channel, please send an email to info@MyDamnChannel.com, and be sure to include links to your blog, Twitter and Tumblr accounts, or any other writing samples you might have! In the immortal words of the Jersey Shore kids in Italy, "Arrivederci, summer!"
Posted in
Josh Meisel,
NTSF with tags
NTSF:SD:SUV::,
Paul Scheer,
Trent Hauser,
Adult Swim,
listicle on 8/25/2011 7:51:22 PM by Josh Meisel
The Only 5 Reasons You Might Miss NTSF:SD:SUV::
1. Trent Hauser's voice brings back bad memories of Christian Bale in "The Dark Knight."
2. You're a long-time fan of "Seinfeld" reruns.
3. 12:15 a.m. only means one thing to you. Omelette Time.
4. Your remote is missing the 7.
5. You're allergic to watching NTSF:SD:SUV::.
Those are the ONLY reasons you might miss this show tonight. And we expect doctors' notes from you if you do.
Posted in
Josh Meisel,
My Damn Channel,
That Ain't Right,
Twitter with tags
twitter,
my damn channel,
that ain't right,
indignance,
josh meisel,
social networking,
search,
out of context on 8/12/2011 9:30:00 AM by Josh Meisel
On August 2 we introduced the world to "Searching for 'My Damn Channel,'" a feature on our blog in which we enter "My Damn Channel" into a Twitter search and post tweets tweeted by tweeters who've probably never heard of us! They're pretty much all mad at something, and that ain't right!
Like @Mr_Primetime24:
Bullshit indeed, @Mr.Primetime24. That ain't right.
@cantbNO1_butMe was NOT happy with DIRECTV:
That simply ain't right. I'm impressed she was able to remember her "please's" and "thank you's" in the midst of these wrongdoings.
Our next "my damn channel"er,
@ExTREordinary_J, also cares deeply about politeness:
That ain't right, @ExTREordinary_J. I don't even want to know who "she" is.
@_ThePilot was more explicit about the source of his anger:
Words can't describe my sympathies @_ThePilot! Unless those words are "that ain't right!"
Twitter won't display older results.
That ain't right.
Posted in
Josh Meisel,
Michael Ian Black,
My Damn Channel,
My Damn Channel Blog Network,
Press,
Stella,
The Comic's Comic,
Twitter with tags
Michael Ian Black,
#SnarkWeek,
Twitter,
Comedy Central,
My Damn Channel,
New Media,
social networking,
stand up comedy,
Josh Meisel,
Shark Week on 8/5/2011 10:45:00 AM by Josh Meisel
If you haven't noticed, Michael Ian Black has been hosting Comedy Central's #SnarkWeek. That's right, #SnarkWeek.
If you’ve ever felt left out not being able to participate in Shark Week, then #SnarkWeek is for you. Tweet the snarkiest tweets you’ve got with the eponymous hashtag #SnarkWeek. If they're snarky enough, they’ll be featured on Comedy Central's very snarky stand up page. Snark!
The week culminates with Michael Ian Black’s comedy special “Michael Ian Black: Very Special,” which premieres Saturday on Comedy Central at 11:00 ET. The Comic’s Comic interviewed Michael about #SnarkWeek (the pound sign is very important) here. And as always, you can see Black’s face in this Wainy Days episode, or on our very own Stella Channel.
Posted in
Daily Grace,
Josh Meisel,
My Damn Channel,
My Damn Channel Blog Network,
Slacktory with tags
Daily Grace,
Grace Helbig,
chuting,
planking,
Josh Meisel,
My Damn Channel,
The Slacktory,
My Damn Channel Blog Network,
owling on 7/29/2011 11:09:08 AM by Josh Meisel
Now at this point, you may be thinking "WHAT ON EARTH IS CHUTING?!?!" Webster's dictionary defines chuting as "the act of utilizing a chute (as by passing ore down it)." But Webster's dictionary is an idiot.
In the 21st century, chuting, invented by Grace Helbig in a recent Daily Grace, is an alternative to planking (pictured above), which is for babies. Here's two chuters inverted chuting at the American Museum of Natural History.
If you want to see what normal chuting looks like, you could hold your computer upside-down, or keep it rightside-up but look at it while inverted chuting yourself, or build a time machine and travel to 1897 to partake in George M. Stratton's perceptual adaptation experiment, in which participants wore goggles that inverted their vision vertically until their brain eventually inverted the image back to normal, at which point when the subject would remove their googles, their vision would be permanently upside-down.
Or you could check out this photo of a very athletic Darlene Contreras chuting on a soccer ball.
Or Taylor O'Brien 'chuting hoops.
And if you can't get enough of planking variants, check out this brief article from My Damn Chanel Blog Network member The Slacktory.
TGIF, HAGS, and happy 'chutin'!
Posted in
David Wain,
Filmmakers,
Hollywood,
Horrible People,
Josh Meisel,
My Damn Channel,
New Series,
NTSF,
Wainy Days with tags
NTSF:SD:SUV::,
NTSF,
Paul Scheer,
Jonathan Stern,
David Wain,
Wainy Days,
Adult Swim,
New Series,
Josh Meisel,
celebrities,
Martin Starr,
Children's Hospital,
Horrible People on 7/21/2011 9:18:43 AM by Josh Meisel
The hilarious new National Terrorism Strike Force: San Diego: Sport Utility Vehicle, aka NTSF:SD:SUV:: premieres tonight on Adult Swim with the epic first episode, “Mexican Space Shuttle.” So break out the no-doze, because when the clock strikes 12:15 am, NTSF:SD:SVU:: will go from being a fictional television show on the hospital drama spoof Childrens Hospital to real-life police procedural spoof. To put it simply, NTSF:SD:SUV is to CSI what Childrens Hospital is to Grey’s Anatomy.
Like the show it spun off of, NTSF:SD:SUV:: (whose full title looks like it belongs in the now-defunct analogies section of the SATs) is chock full of performers who are no stranger to My Damn Channel. For example, here's NTSF cast member Martin Starr getting all his teeth knocked out by David Wain. Plus, Executive Producer Jonathan Stern is one of the men responsible for both Wainy Days and Horrible People, writing and directing a number of Wainy Days episodes, including this one.
So watch it every Thursday night at 12:15am on Adult Swim!
(*Actual product will most likely look nothing like this. Also, wings not included.)
Lately, My Damn Channel swag has been flying off the shelves and onto people's bodies at an alarming rate. It seems like everyone wants a new T-shirt in their hands (or on their torso, at least.) After all, who wouldn't want a slice of pie from the larger bakery that is the world of My Damn Channel paraphernalia?
Take My Damn Channel viewser JustNeph... please! When we asked folks to tweet at us with the phrase "I want #MyDamnPen!" Neph responded. And we didn't let his plea fall on deaf ears, hooking him up with not one but TWO My Damn Channel pens, and a MY DAMN CHANNEL STICKER.
And here's our pal Dom Galati donning a sharp new My Damn Channel tee...
And if you want your very own My Damn Channel shirt, you can follow Rocky Rector's example and be the one this week to get the most friends to sign up for our ongoing Versailles sweepstakes. Additional info is here.
Go ahead and sign yourself up, while you're at it. Winner gets a free trip for two to L.A. to meet Versailles (watch it!) co-stars and creators Patricia Heaton and David Hunt. There's only one week left to enter, so if you need to, now would be a good time to buy a working mouse.